Numb
by SophiaCrutchfeild
Summary: How did Bill become a demon? WARNING- SAD STORY WITH NO HAPPY ENDING.


Author's Note- Yes, this is pretty dark. It won't end happily. Consider yourself warned.

Hearts and Skulls,

Sophia

I'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.

William Sloan hated his life. He hated school, where he was tormented for his skinny form, strange clothing, and eye patch, he despised church, where he was forced to pray to a deity he didn't believe in and his parents constantly reprimanded him, and most of all, he hated the town, the boring, small-minded town of Gravity Falls. No one ever listened to him, of course, and his one true friend, Ford (really named Fiddleford, but call him that and he'd cream you), was considered nuts. Ford tried to help William avoid getting beaten up as best he could, but he couldn't be there all the time.

Just ask William's left eye.

Don't know what you're expecting of me, put in the pressure of walking in you're shoes. I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.

The fact that William's father had been a Great War Hero, Gravity Fall's best, most upstanding citizen, didn't help his situation at all. Art Sloan may have been a good general, but as a father, he was never around to help William, and when he was around, he just thought William was weak, pitiful. Someone to be ashamed of.

Every step that I take is another mistake to you.

William wasn't someone to be ashamed of. He was incredibly smart, a genius, and he was creative, and even, in his own way, handsome. It didn't matter. William wasn't athletic, William wasn't a fighter, William was weird, and so William was not worth Art's time.

I'm caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow. I've become so numb, I can't feel you there.

So William, the boy with so much potential at only fifteen years old, went numb to block out the pain of being unwanted, alone. Ford tried to help him, as always, cheering him up with stories of the most absurd things (who but Ford could tell the tale of a squash with a human face and emotions falling in love with a barf fairy?), but William barely reacted.

Become so tired, so much more aware.

William had stopped sleeping. He simply lay awake all night, dreaming up a place where it didn't matter if you were physically strong or not… a place where dreams were all that mattered… the mindscape.

However, William had developed an eerie awareness over the past few weeks, a way where he could seem to tell exactly what you were thinking, sometimes even answering your thoughts, instead of your words. It freaked people out. One girl in particular noticed though. A girl called Selene, who secretly, had always liked William. She noticed the change.

I'm becoming this.

William wasn't a fifteen-year-old kid with lots of potential anymore. He was more than that. Sometimes, late at night, he would feel something stirring inside him, something with sharp edges, something nobody would dare mess with. He knew if he continued down this path, he would become The Thing, but… it was him.

All I want to do is be more like me.

One day, William showed up to school with his head held high, wearing a yellow suit, a top hat, and carrying a cane. When one of the seniors came over to beat him up, he hit the 17-year-old with the cane. Many times.

"This is how it's going to be," William hissed, once the boy was on the floor. "I'll leave you be, if you tell all your friends not to bother Ford and I any more. Do we have a deal?" He hit the kid one more time. "Well?"

The kid shook his hand. "Deal man, deal!"

"What the hell was that?" asked Selene.

"That was me," William told her.

And be less like you.

"That was me, doing something my upstanding father would never dare to do. In his own home, yes, but in public? I think not."

Can't you see that you're smothering me, holding too tightly, afraid to lose control?

At church that week, his mother tried to get him to wear something "More Suitable," but William refuse to take off the yellow suit and top had. His shaggy blond hair fell in his face, and he may have looked odd, but incredibly attractive as well. He demanded to stay home from church, said he wouldn't pray to someone he didn't like. That didn't go over well.

Because everything that you though I would be has fallen apart, right in front of you.

"You were supposed to be a good, charming boy, on the football team and with lots o friends, and the go to the Army to follow in your father's footsteps, and you were supposed to be a decent, god-fearing man, and I'll see to it that my plans work out!" his mother yelled at him.

"You can't control me anymore, Mrs. Sloan."

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?"

Every step that I take is another mistake to you.

"I'm not perfect, Mrs. Sloan, never was, but I was better before. Of course, then you just had to kill the good in me, didn't you?" William sneered.

"You listen here, William Sloan-"

"The name's Bill Cipher," William snarled and he let The Thing out.

Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow.

There was a flash of light.

And every second I waste is more than I can take!

The demon, furious, burned red, as he stared down the woman who used to be his mother.

I've become so numb!

William, the fifteen-year-old kid with all the potential, now set the Gravity Falls woods aflame with dreamfire, letting the smoke make real the dreams, fantasies, and nightmares of all of the town, from Perverted Gnomes to vicious Zombies. The woods were now officially brimming with monsters.

I can't feel you there!

"Stop!"

William recognized the voice of the girl who had sometimes been kind to him in school, Selene.

"Please, William, I know you're in there! Please, stop this chaos! Please!"

For a moment, it seemed like he was going to listen…

"William, listen to us!" Ford shouted. "We're your friends!"

The blood red of the demon faded to yellow.

"Hahahahaha, that's funny, you think I have friends! I lost my humanity weeks ago, and no one even noticed! What wonderful friends I have."

I've become so tired, so much more aware.

"We knew something was up," Ford said. "Just not… this. I mean, who on Earth is going to jump to the conclusion that their best friend has turned into a demon?"

"Dream demon, to be exact," William tipped his hat. "Now, I know lots of things. Want to hear the exact time and date of your death?"

"William, please just-" Selene began.

"Forget it."

I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me, and less like you!

"And quit calling me William. William is dead. The name's Bill Cipher."

And I know I may end up failing to.

Ford looked at his old fried sadly. "If you do this, I'm going to have to stop you. You realize that, right?"

"Yeah, I get it. Trust me, you won't be seeing much more of me after this though."

But I know you were just like me, with someone disappointed in you.

"But I'll be watching you. I'll be watching you."

And with those last words, William disappeared forever.

I've become so numb I can't feel you there. I've become so tired, so much more aware.

Bill Cipher laughed as he wandered through the mindscape… until he noticed a coffin.

I'm becoming this, all I want to do is be more like me, and less like you.

It was marked very simply.

William Sloan.

I can't be what you want me to be.


End file.
